「我一點也不好。」這才是奧運延期之後運動員的真實心情?

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在大多時候,鏡頭下的運動員都呈現出帥氣、堅毅、正向陽光的一面,然而運動攝影師 Delly Carr 看見奧運運動員在得知東京奧運確定延期之後,那不被社會理解的失望與脆弱。

在原本應是 2020  東京奧運開幕日(7/24)的前後幾天,Delly Carr 發布這一系列令人心碎的照片。照片中可以看到這些隔著透明板子的運動員的表情,是如此失落、憤怒與傷心,然而身為旁觀者的我們卻什麼也幫不上忙。

Delly Carr 想讓這個世界知道:運動員們並不OK。

圖片來源。
圖片來源。

「新冠肺炎在全球大流行,為整個2020東京奧運帶來許多意料之外的挑戰。在這樣的情況下,我盡可能地在這個別具意義的時刻,去捕捉奧運運動員們在得知此巨大變化之後的真實心情。」Delly Carr 說。

「當我深入進行這個企劃時,我意識到『運動員們並不OK』,他們告訴我,他們的親朋好友和這個社會對於東京奧運延期這件事,並沒有深刻的感受到有何差別和轉變,但對他們來說,這是一個多麼令人心碎和悲傷的事情。」

圖片來源。
圖片來源。

ITU 世界排名第 11 名的澳洲鐵人三項選手 Natalie Van Coevorden 說:「我的第一個反應是非常震驚、害怕且悲傷,身為運動員,我們正努力為了一場大比賽做準備,這些照片我認為多少反映出我們失去了運動員的身分。」

「我們不能在世界舞台上奔馳的這件事,是非常令人感到心碎的。包括訓練重心、賽事選擇、身體健康狀態,以及讓自己無論是生理或心理都維持最好狀態等等,這些重擔都隨著奧運會確定延期之後慢慢減輕。同時我也開始對自己產生懷疑:到底是為了什麼而訓練?什麼時候才會結束這令人心碎的一切?」

圖片來源。
圖片來源。

Emma Jeffcoat 是 ITU 世界排名第 48 名的澳洲鐵人三項選手,她說:「一開始知道消息時,我感到非常沮喪和憤怒。我童年的夢想就是可以在日復一日的努力的練習之後,代表澳洲參加奧運。但現在所有的希望好像都已經消失,完全無法控制,感覺非常殘酷,最近全世界發生太多事情,以至於我無法確切表達自己有多失落。無論外界表達多少支持,但他們還是不能真正了解我們奧運選手正在經歷了什麼?我們與奧運的距離有多近?得知消息的前幾天我把自己關在家裡,將所有人拒之門外。我真的與大多數朋友避不見面,我需要讓自己好好的處理失去這次奧運會的感受。」

「幾個星期之後我開始意識到,我其實是一個『行動家』,一個樂於助人,而且是個不僅要讓自己更好,也要讓周圍都變好的一個人。我是一位註冊護士,然而當這個世界有許多人需要我的幫助的時候,我卻陷入自己的失落情緒,對於那些第一線的護士或是患者,我感到非常自私。」

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Athletes Are Not OK and society needed to know that. The COVID-19 pandemic has thrown up some very unexpected challenges for the broader Olympic community. So I pushed myself to capture this unique moment in time, photographing the rollercoaster of emotions that our Olympic athletes felt on the day their Olympic dreams shifted. As we got deeper into the secret project, I quickly realised that Athletes Are Not OK. They told me how their family friends and the general public didn't quite get what the postponement of Tokyo meant to them. Unknown to us all, there was heartbreak and heavy sadness. Today, on what would have been the Day 5 of the Tokyo Olympics Rowing programme …. Georgie Rowe: "My initial reaction was relief, relief that a decision had been made as I had felt as though we were training for something so uncertain whilst the world appeared to be crumbling around us. I quickly went home, set up a new routine with working as a nurse and training indoors. I set small achievable goals and I also reached out to my nearest and dearest (One being Delly) and made sure my support network was in close contact. As the weeks went on it certainly was a challenge. There were days I’d call some of my rowing buddies questioning what we were doing and why we were doing it. It felt like we were going through the motions with no goal in sight." David Watts: "My first reaction was uncertainty as to whether I was going to continue on for another 12 months in pursuit of my childhood dream of becoming an Olympic gold medalist. I knew I had a few very important decisions to make. Once the announcement had been made, I had a lot of excitement to spend more time at home with the ability to do my own training. This excitement became the main driving force for my continued training once the postponement was announced. I've come to the terms with the reality of the postponement. It does feel like a much longer goal than I had initially planned for, but I am determined to see it through." @nikonaustralia @subaruaustralia @goactiveoutdoors @tokyo2020 @olympics @ausolympicteam @rowingaustralia @ausparalympics @georgierowe92 ❤️ @david_watts_

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除了女子鐵人三項運動員之外,Delly Carr 也拍攝了其他項目的運動員,包括水球、游泳、划船等…。

View this post on Instagram

Athletes Are Not OK and society needed to know that. The COVID-19 pandemic has thrown up some very unexpected challenges for the broader Olympic community. So I pushed myself to capture this unique moment in time, photographing the rollercoaster of emotions that our Olympic athletes felt on the day their Olympic dreams shifted. As we got deeper into the secret project, I quickly realised that Athletes Are Not OK. They told me how their family friends and the general public didn't quite get what the postponement of Tokyo meant to them. Unknown to us all, there was heartbreak and heavy sadness. Today, on what would have been the Day 5 of the Tokyo Olympics Water Polo programme …. Hannah Buckling: "I was numb for the first day. The next day I could not stop crying. That is not something I admit to easily, I am generally not an emotional person. I think I cried because I couldn’t do anything else. Sitting with the uncertainty of the first few days was the most difficult. It was hard to sit with this without any solid information to solve the problem. While this was emotionally challenging, I think the greatest skill being an elite athlete has taught me is resilience. This year has affected everyone in different ways, and athletes, just like everyone else have had to adapt to the new normal." Keesja Gofers: "My initial reaction wasn't what I expected from myself. I didn't cry, I wasn't mad. I was numb. There was guilt. Guilt that I was emotionally consumed with my own situation when people at home and around the world were losing their jobs, becoming ill and dying. Athletes are conditioned to act strong and not show what might be perceived as weakness. But athletes might seem physically like super-humans but of course, they are just humans too. When I finally cried, acknowledged my emotions and talked about it, I was able to move forward." @nikonaustralia @subaruaustralia @goactiveoutdoors @tokyo2020 @olympics @ausolympicteam @waterpoloaus @ausparalympics @keesjagofers ❤️ @hannahbuckling

A post shared by Delly Carr (@dellyphotoninja) on

View this post on Instagram

Athletes Are Not OK and society needed to know that. The COVID-19 pandemic has thrown up some very unexpected challenges for the broader Olympic community. So I pushed myself to capture this unique moment in time, photographing the rollercoaster of emotions that our Olympic athletes felt on the day their Olympic dreams shifted. As we got deeper into the secret project, I quickly realised that Athletes Are Not OK. They told me how their family friends and the general public didn't quite get what the postponement of Tokyo meant to them. There was heartbreak and heavy sadness. Today, on what would have been Day 3 of the Tokyo Olympics swimming programme …. Cate Campbell: "I was grocery shopping and was standing at the checkout packing my bags when the message came through. It was a sense of time slowing down. My world seemed to shrink down to the one sentence on my phone “The Olympics are being postponed”. By the time I had read and processed them, I looked up and felt like I was existing in an alternate reality – one where I didn’t know my place, direction or purpose. My world had just changed dramatically, like the train I was on had just jumped tracks – and I didn’t know where this one would take me. Bronte Campbell "I was at home on the couch on the Monday when they announced they wouldn't be compiling a team to take to Tokyo. Lockdown had just started, we had just found out we weren't able to train and no one knew how long it would be until we could. So I just sat on the couch and watched the news come in and felt a seismic shift in the direction I thought this year would take. My first feeling was of frustration. My shoulder injury had been really difficult to manage at the start of the year. It had taken a lot of pain and creativity to get me back in the water and training for the Olympics. So initially it was frustration that all that pain of dragging myself into fitness was for nothing. #stayhomeboofheads #stayapartboofheads @nikonaustralia @subaruaustralia @goactiveoutdoors @tokyo2020 @olympics @ausolympicteam @swimmingaustralia @dolphinsaus @rowingaustralia @triathlonaustralia @paralympicsaustralia @catecampbell @bronte_campbell

A post shared by Delly Carr (@dellyphotoninja) on

在 Delly Carr 的鏡頭之下,運動員們向這個社會傳遞出他們對於奧運延期的失落、悲傷與憤怒,同時也讓全世界去思考運動員存在的價值與困境。

運動員與社會的隔閡,是否就像那片透明的玻璃,我們看得到他們的無助,卻也只是站在另一側,無關痛癢。未來,我們是否能打破那片玻璃,用心理解運動員的喜怒哀樂,並且給予最真誠的擁抱以及最實質的幫助?

 

參考文章:Delly Carr – Sports Photographer

 

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